You Might Be A Chemist If...
You pronounce unionized as "un-ion-ized", instead of "union-ized".
You think a mole is a unit of amount, rather than a small furry animal
in your lawn.
You wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.
You think that fresh air smells bad.
You played with explosives as a kid, and still have all your fingers.
Your favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank - and you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a biochemist).
You Might Be a Biochemist If...
You have ever asked a bartender to spin down your Hefeweizen
Your kid has his name, date of birth, and blood type written on his
forehead in Sharpie
Your oven mitts at home are bright orange and have a PI's initials on them
You refer to cans of frozen orange juice concentrate as "aliquots of 4xOJ"
The only combs you are familiar with are for making wells
You have considered adding a protease inhibitor cocktail to your leftover tuna salad
Your wife's wedding ring is also a radiation dosimeter.
You know you weren't prepared for the exam when you gave the following definitions:
stereochemistry: having the correct speakers for your CD player
free radical: a political movement
propane: sadomasochistic tendencies
Grignard: a three foot mile
periodic acid: sometimes it is and sometimes it ain't
biotin: how much coffee you purchase
prostate: when you want FSU to beat U. Florida in football
helminth: what the hockey players wear on their heads, thilly
IL-2: me also
homology: the study of real estate
membrane: the opposite of forgettin'
